But I delayed deciding while I did my MBA. When she finally accepted that it was what I wanted, she got really into it.Īsad: I grew up in Karachi, and I always had the choice of either a love match or an arranged marriage. In fact, my mom was totally against the idea at first. The process appealed to me: they’d spend time looking for my husband, not me. Sumaiya: My parents never expected me to have an arranged marriage, but I wanted one. She’s 29 and a communications officer at the Toronto Public Library he’s also 29, and an account coordinator at a media buying agency She makes food from scratch-I help with prep and cleanup-and she’s always helping my mom around the house when we’re back in India. Tillana is both traditional and a modern woman. She complains that she has nothing to wear, and yet her clothes are everywhere. Shripal: When we moved in together, I realized that Tillana is a bed hog. I’m the kind of person who thinks I’m always right, and we’ve had our share of arguments, but he’s wonderful and caring. I found out that Shripal is particular about certain things: he doesn’t like creases in our bed sheets, and he hates finding my hair on the floor. We got married at city hall in September and rented a house in Brampton. Tillana: I made him wait a month before I said yes. Shripal and Tillana were married at city hall in September 2018 Shripal: That night, after our date, I told her I was certain we’d get married. Tillana: He tried to hold my hand like five times. I thought, Whatever it takes, I’m going to marry this girl. Shripal: When I first saw Tillana I knew she was the one. My father told me that you can always judge a man by looking at his shoes. Shripal was wearing a crisp ironed shirt and polished shoes. Tillana: On May 6, two days after our first phone conversation, we went to Woodbine Mall to walk around. She was intelligent and headstrong, which excited me. When looks and sex fade, all you have left is conversation. I’ve always wanted to be with someone I could talk to. His English was good, and he also spoke Gujarati, my mother tongue. But he messaged me, and we ended up talking on the phone for six hours. SINGER.” He seemed pompous and pretentious. Tillana: His facebook profile read, “WRITER. I heard about Tillana through a friend in Toronto and looked her up on Facebook. My parents had introduced me to 200 women and hired marriage brokers, and I registered on matrimonial sites like. Shripal: I moved from India to Toronto in 2017. By the time I was 28, I was considered old compared to most other Indian women who were looking. I thought I could fall in love after marriage. My parents didn’t pressure me to get an arranged marriage, but I was open to it. Tillana: I grew up in a liberal Hindu household in India. She’s 29, he’s 32 and they’re both sales associates at Rogers We asked five Toronto couples in arranged marriages to tell us what it was like to fall in love after the wedding. And unlike in past generations, where the spouses-to-be often had no say in the prospect, these modern brides and grooms get veto power. They’re turning to matchmakers-parents, aunts, uncles, family friends, clergy-and using sites like Shaadi, Jeevansathi and SawYouatSinai to find suitable candidates. For young people who are tired of the meet markets and seek partners with similar cultural backgrounds, arranged marriage holds an obvious appeal. Dating in 2019 has devolved into a horror show of swiping, catfishing and ghosting-an endeavour so daunting that some Torontonians are skipping that step altogether and heading straight for the altar.
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